We’re in that barren wasteland of movie releases: after thanksgiving and before Christmas. This week we have two wide releases that probably nobody really wants to see and three smaller films that nobody will get to see. Let’s get started!

From the director of San Andreas and Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore.. it’s yet another movie about a kid who has been possessed by a demon. The demon presents itself in the usual ways: throwing furniture, turning eyes black, and giving everybody that “I just huffed spray paint” voice. The difference this time is that the exorcist is some sort of cyber-exorcist that straps some wires to your kid’s head and then goes inside his head! woahhhh!

This movie will be confusing because after 90 minutes you’ll be left wondering if that boner was caused by Natalie Portman, Jackie Onassis, or Kennedy’s brains all over the back of that car.
I guess I understand why someone would make a biographical film about Jackie Onassis but it feels like the wrong time for it. She’s not a compelling enough character. If this was 30 or 40 years ago, I could see there being huge interest in something like this. But in 2016, I don’t know who it’s for. I just know it’s not me.

Limited Releases

Things to Come
An art house French film about a middle aged woman whose husband is seeing another woman. Maybe one day I’ll see this when I’m browsing Netflix and think “oh yeah, I remember watching the trailer for that. Wonder what else I could watch instead.”

Old Stone
This is a Chinese film about a taxi driver that accidentally hits someone with his car. They survive and somehow that leads to a bunch of bad shit happening to the driver. I like the music in this trailer and the freeze-frame ending title card.

Guy comes back from war (I think?) and becomes The Duelist. He’s pretty hardcore. He doesn’t respect the rules of the duel, he has no honor, god damned him years ago, and so on. This feels like a weird Russian knock-off of a terrible Hollywood film.

Well I guess that’s it for this week. Some garbage, some Oscar-bait, and a maybe cool film from China that probably isn’t playing anywhere near you. See ya next time!