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Category: Articles (Page 3 of 3)

15 Flicks You Gotta See in 2017

2016 was a year full of truly spectacular horrors, both off and on the silver screen. While we were treated to another slate full of prequels, sequels, adaptations and franchise starters, some inescapably bad films got greenlit for huge budgets only to fall short critically and, in some cases, financially. Shockingly, I could say the same for nearly any year and not miss the mark, and I’m also sure I could probably copy/paste this paragraph at the beginning of next year’s list. Fortunately for you, here’s a list of what I think you should watch in the meantime. Now, I’m sure you’re saying to yourself, “This nerd? This whole list is going to be comics book and sci-fi movies.” Well guess what, friend-o! You’re right.

Oh, and this list is in chronological release order, so it’s just a coincidence that a Shyamalan movie is #15 and Star Wars is number #1.

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New In Theaters 12/16/16

It’s two weeks before Christmas, and baby Jesus (and/or Santa) have delivered unto us some more films. There’s that Star Wars one, a couple depressing (but ultimately redeeming) ones, and an “oh shit 2016 is almost over let’s shove this out the door now” one.

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New In Theaters 12/9/16

Hello and welcome to another week of mostly bad looking films. Next week is that Star Wars thing though, let’s just think about that!

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Dead On Arrival

There’s a great irony in Arrival that screenwriter Eric Heisserer left on the table. The film is ostensibly a story about communication and trust, and—spoiler—at its conclusion the protagonist declines to trust her lover and communicate with him that any child they have together will die before high school.

This could make for a great dark irony that explores why cowardice and selfishness can reduce us, in spite of our intelligence or convictions, to become nothing more than vermin scuttering around in the dark cannibalizing each other. But nothing about the script or the direction suggest that anyone involved is even aware this conflict of message exists. Banks’ decision to “keep” a doomed child is treated as something to be celebrated, outright ignoring the horrendous immorality of hiding the child’s inevitable death from her prospective father. Most writing about the film celebrates it as an especially timely message of hope, comforting Americans who don’t know what to expect from the idiot they elected to lead them. And that is fucking insane, and could explain why we’re stupid enough to have elected a schmuck like Trump to the presidency in the first place.

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New In Theaters 12/2/16

We’re in that barren wasteland of movie releases: after thanksgiving and before Christmas. This week we have two wide releases that probably nobody really wants to see and three smaller films that nobody will get to see. Let’s get started!

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New Releases 11/18/16

J.K. Rowling digs through her old Harry Potter notes! Teenagers go through teenager things! Probably-Oscar nominees! John Travolta! A cat! All this and more, in this week’s new releases.

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New Releases 11/4/16

Welcome to the unlikely return of the feature where I watch trailers for all the movies coming out this week and make unfair judgments based on said trailers using my invaluable years of movie and trailer watching experience.

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Side Glance – Forgotten Pieces of Movies Past

This series focuses on side characters that catch my eye despite not having much impact on the plot or much screen time. To borrow an analogy I heard from Chuck Barkley, these are the bus riders and not the bus drivers. Spoilers abound!

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“Wolverine 3” Might Be Good Or Bad: An Examination


Logan aka “Wolverine 3” aka “the last X-Men movie anyone anywhere will want to watch” is Hugh Jackman’s last ride as The Man With No Bones himself. How will this stack up to the X-Men days of our future and past? Breaking Hard Men protocol, I venture some solid prognostication on this in-development film, tentatively arguing this hot take: it could be good or it could be bad, for a variety of reasons. Those reasons are as follows.

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